


New Beginning

by TableForThree



Category: Animorphs - Katherine A. Applegate
Genre: Alternate Ending, Angst, Ax eats like eight burgers he's a pig, Fluff, I'll add relevant tags when I post more chapters, More Pairings to Come - Freeform, PTSD, happier ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-01 00:42:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6494113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TableForThree/pseuds/TableForThree
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How the final battle should have ended, and the way the new future is affected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - James

**Author's Note:**

> I love Animorphs but #54 The Beginning really fucked me up. Those babies deserved a happier ending. 
> 
> This is the first chapter detailing the change that sets off the new and improved future. I'm still debating on what pairings will show up but Rachel/Tobias will definitely be a thing, as well as Marco being paired with another guy (he's a bi fly ready to try okay??) so if that isn't your cup of tea, sorry. Try coffee instead.
> 
> This first chapter is in James' perspective but the next will be in either Jake or Tobias' perspectives.

_I lay there in suspended animation._

_I felt myself floating._

_The bear was melting. Old grizzly bear, my friend. Good old bear._

_I demorphed. The snake was still in my mouth. Motionless._

_I demorphed._

_I was Rachel again, the human Rachel, alive, unhurt. I could have bounded up and gone off to the mall to shop. But I didn't kid myself. I didn't hope._

_I spit the snake out._

_I was surrounded on all sides. I was only a weak human girl now. The polar bear loomed over me, his strength the equal of my own grizzly, but now I was just me, just Rachel._

_I could see the viewscreen. I could see my best friend Cassie. Jake. Marco, funny Marco. Ax._

_Tobias._

_He had morphed. He was his human self once more. He'd done that for me. And because he was crying. I understood. Humans cry, hawks don't._

_"I love you," I said to the screen._

_And oh, god, how could so much regret and so much sweetness and so much sadness all be present in that single moment. I was already dead and missing my unlived life. I was already dead and Tobias was mourning._

_I tried to smile. For him._

_The polar bear said, <You fight well, human.>_

_Then-_

_-K.A. Applegate, Animorphs #54: The Beginning_

* * *

 

My name is James.

I guess you could say life has been pretty tough for me. I was hit by a drunk driver when I was four and I was paralyzed from the waist down ever since.

Not recently though. You see, there are these things called Yeerks. They’re parasitic slugs from outer space that are trying to invade Earth, and they crawl in through your ear and mould themselves around your brain. It lets them take complete control of you while you’re stuck in the back of your mind, screaming.

It was Jake who taught me about these things, Jake and his group of Animorphs. It’s what they call themselves, and what they call me. Jake and the others have been in the war against the Yeerks far longer than me or my friends have. They were given the power to morph, to absorb an animal’s DNA and then use it to become that animal. Time progressed and they found the blue box that is used to give this power, and they decided to expand their army.

They chose me.

I’ve morphed into birds, bugs and all kinds of different animals. My favourite is the lion though, there’s just something about the raw power of it, and the strength of the back legs. There’s something about being in a wheelchair most of your life that makes you appreciate just being able to run.

Of course, I can run when I’m human now too. I don’t really understand much of it but the morphing healed me. I still have to roll around in a wheelchair because I’m undercover, but it’s a small price to pay.

Right now, though, I’m not undercover. Not in the pretending to still be unable to move my legs kind of undercover, anyway. I had this sinking feeling in my gut that what I was doing was wrong. I knew my place, I knew Craig’s place, and it certainly wasn’t here.

We were fleas, Craig and I. We were here because I was stupid, because I’d had this stupid feeling, and Craig was just coming along for the ride. I’d overheard a conversation I wasn’t supposed to, you see. I’d been to the Hork-Bajir camp a few times before, mostly to talk war tactics with Jake. I’d morphed into a peregrine falcon, about to fly back to the place I’d called my home since I was four, when I heard them talking.

Jake and Rachel.

And now here I was. Erica had taken over command of the Auxiliary Animorphs and was currently leading them alongside Sam Doubleday. I should be with them, I should be protecting them. And yet I wasn’t.

It’s hard being a flea, because you don’t really know what’s going on. I’d been nestled in my hiding place for some time, long enough that I was starting to get worried I was going to be stuck as a flea, when my perch started moving violently underneath me. I powered the flea’s legs and launched myself as far as I could, and it took a long time to fall.

<Yaaah!> Craig yelled, and I knew he was falling with me.

I didn’t know what to do, when to reveal myself. I should have chosen a better morph, but I’d seen Rachel go flea and my first instinct was to do the same. I didn’t exactly have much time to decide differently and besides, my only other bug morph was a cockroach and that was slightly more noticeable than what I was going for.

I hit the floor and jumped again and again until I couldn’t sense the warm blood anymore. That was all the flea cared about, the only useful sense that it really had. Since it couldn’t sense any blood nearby, I figured it was about time to demorph. I wasn’t very good at keeping track of time and I just hoped that I wouldn’t be stuck as a flea for the rest of my life.

I focused on my own body and slowly the changes started. I could hear the weird noises my body made as I started to regain everything that made me human, my bones and my organs. I shot up from my tiny little flea body to my regular height in about two seconds, and I got head rush from the feeling.

When I regained my sight, still morphing, I hurriedly looked around me. Craig was close by, busy morphing back to his own body, and we were in some kind of space ship. I’d seen them all from the outside of course, the Bug Fighters and Blade Ships, but I’d never been inside. There was no one around, but I could hear the sounds of battle coming from the end of a hallway.

“Battle morph,” I instructed Craig as soon as we were fully human, and he nodded. I could tell he was exhausted, we didn’t have much experience with morphing and going from flea to human to animal again in such a short amount of time was staggering. I knew Jake and the others would have been used to it by now though, and that only made me more determined to do it. It was a bit of a chip on my shoulder, as embarrassing as it was; I was desperate to live up to Jake’s expectations.

I focused on the lion within me and felt the changes start again. This time they were a little sluggish but I powered on, dropping onto all fours as I felt a heavy main grow thick from my neck. My eyes focused on Craig and I could see him growing, see his muscles starting to bulge as his skin thickened and turned leathery. When we’d gone to the Gardens to get battle morphs, Craig had chosen the Gorilla. I think he did it because he looked up to Marco.

I felt the coolness of the lion’s mind wash over me and I forgot all about how tired I was. The lion itself was fresh and ready to go, and it was getting agitated at the smell of blood and the sound of very animal roars so close by. Once Craig had completed his morph we didn’t even have to consult each other, we both just bolted towards the end of the hallway.

We ran into a massacre.

It was hard to put together what we were seeing. The first thing I noticed was the blood. It was everywhere, all over the floor and on some of the walls, even splattered over equipment. There were two lionesses, a buffalo, a polar bear and a grizzly bear.

But no, even now I could see the grizzly was shrinking, the blood matted fur giving way to pink flesh and blonde hair. Rachel was so beautiful even when she was in her skin tight morphing suit and sitting on the blood soaked ground, maybe even _especially_ because of that. She looked sad though, and she had a look of defeat on her face that I’d never seen.

Of course. She thought she was alone. She thought this was the end.

Rachel turned to look at a huge screen on one side of the room and I saw them, Jake and the rest. I even saw Visser One and the sight of him turned my insides to ice. The lion didn’t care though, and I took comfort in that.

“I love you,” Rachel said to the screen, and it could have been to any of the Animorphs watching her. I had an inkling I knew who it was though.

I could see the Yeerks all tensing in preparation, I’m sure they’d waited a long time to finally have the chance to kill an Animorph. I wasn’t going to give them that chance.

Just as one of them started to speak, I put all the power I possibly could into my hind legs, and I leaped.

<You fight well, human,> I heard the polar bear say. His huge paw pulled back to strike at Rachel, who made no move to try and defend herself.

I hit the polar bear before he could strike and we went tumbling across the floor, sliding in the slick blood that could have been anyone’s, but somehow I knew it was Rachel’s. The polar bear roared in his rage and slammed his paw down but the lion was just too quick for him, and he hit nothing but ground.

Across the room I could see Craig picking up one of the lionesses and simply throwing her into a control panel, and she yipped loudly in pain. She didn’t get back up again.

That left another lioness and the buffalo against a big gorilla, probably not the fairest fight, but I could also see Rachel starting to morph back into her grizzly to join the fray again. Jake and the others were screaming, yelling, but I couldn’t make out any words, couldn’t afford to. I knew a lion wasn’t really much of a match against a polar bear and if I lost my concentration it’d be my blood on the ground.

<You won’t live this, human,> the bear snarled at me, but I didn’t reply. I’d never been in a fight like this before and we were slowly circling each other, trying to figure out what the first move would be. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. I’m sure if it’d been Jake in this fight, he’d have been able to win. But me? I was just a newbie. I didn’t have a whole lot of experience to draw upon.

<Rely on your morph,> I heard in my head, and my ear twitched a little. It was Ax, the Andalite. I don’t think I’d ever managed to have a conversation with him, but I still recognized his voice. <The lion knows how to fight. Rely on your morph.>

Slowly, carefully, I relaxed my hold on the lion’s mind a little. Not enough to let the animal get control, but enough that I could feel the instincts washing over me. I wasn’t scared anymore, the lion doesn’t get scared.

The polar bear roared again and charged for me, and this time when I jumped to the side it wasn’t just me, it was the lion too. It felt like we were working together almost. I took a powerful swipe at the polar bear’s hind quarters as he tumbled past and I heard a yowl of pain, felt flesh rip under my claws.

I was off balance now though, and when the polar bear turned and closed his jaws around my back paw I wasn’t prepared enough to get away. I felt teeth chomp down and crush bones and this time the yowl was mine. I took another swipe at the bear’s face and he released my foot but the damage was done. I couldn’t put any weight on it and now I wouldn’t be able to be quick enough to evade the bear’s attacks. I was done for and I knew it.

Except this time, when the polar bear charged at me, I didn’t have to leap out of the way. He was yanked back along the blood soaked ground and I saw Craig’s massive gorilla hand gripping tight to the polar bear’s fur. Rachel, in her grizzly morph, snarled beside him and used her claws to lay open the flesh on the polar bear’s hind legs.

There was so much blood now, I felt sick with it on the inside but the lion wasn’t bothered. The polar bear struggled to get up but his legs just collapsed underneath him. He slowly started shrinking until he was just a trembling human controller, and Craig enthusiastically slammed a hand against the controller’s head to knock him out.

I demorphed and slowly the pain in my foot vanished. It’d been too reminiscent of the pain I felt when I’d been paralyzed and it’d shaken me a little. Still, we were alive and safe for the most part, and I’d succeeded in saving Rachel, so that was what mattered.

Things were a blur after that. Ax managed to guide Rachel into docking the ship we were in so we could get onto the ship _they_ were in, and as soon as we stepped on board Rachel was engulfed by her teammates. They were all crying and relieved to have her back, and Craig and I stood to the side, trying to keep out of the way.

They all thanked me of course, I got a tearful hug from Cassie and a handshake and wisecrack from Marco, but the best part was getting a pat on the back from Jake. “Thank you,” he’d said so quietly that I’d struggled to hear him. “You did amazing.”

After tamping down my initial pleased embarrassment, I looked around at the significantly larger ship we were on. “Where’s Visser One?” I asked, hoping I wouldn’t have to go into battle again. I was so tired, I just wanted to find somewhere quiet to curl up and sleep for a week.

Jake’s face, which was usually so aged with stress and grief, smoothed out into a slow smile. “He’s in that suitcase over there,” he said, sounding younger than I’d ever heard him. “We won, James. The war is over.”


	2. Unfathomable - Jake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake tries to deal with the death of his brother and the end of the war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will probably be in Tobias' point of view.

_I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity._  
_\- Dwight D. Eisenhower_

* * *

 

My name is Jake Berenson. It feels good to say that now, I think. It’s hard to tell what feels good anymore. My mom says I’m in shock, that it’s post-traumatic stress disorder. Whatever it is, I haven’t felt the same since I witnessed my cousin killing my brother on my orders.

Regardless, it feels good not to have to hide. I can morph whenever and wherever I want and although most people stare in disbelief and some horror, I know revealing my abilities isn’t going to land me and my friends a death sentence. That, at least, is a plus.

Things have been strange ever since we won the war. Ax was made a prince of his own, and I guess that meant he doesn’t have to call me Prince Jake anymore but he still does. It’s become our little joke, I guess, and I never mean it when I ask him to just call me Jake.

The whole world knows my name now, and the others’. I’ve met with the President several times, and each time it just felt surreal. Like I should be giddy and star struck, but instead I was kind of surly and curt, while the President went on and on about how much the country owes me. I guess I can have everything I could ever want. Doesn’t matter, though. It doesn’t bring Tom back.

He was the whole reason I even joined the fight, all those years ago. I wanted to save him, I wanted to yank that Yeerk right out of his brain and squish it underneath my foot. Instead, I sent my cousin on a suicidal mission to kill him, and it was only through a miracle that she survived.

Mom and Dad get it, I think. They were controllers for a few months and Dad’s told me once, when I was sitting on my windowsill in the middle of the night because I couldn’t sleep, that it was the worst thing you could ever imagine. Tom had a Yeerk in him for god knows how long, he probably welcomed death. Dad’s words didn’t really make me feel better.

I avoided Rachel for a few days, a mixture of guilt and fury inside me whenever I saw her. Stupid, of course. She killed him on my orders. But I just couldn’t face her. It was Cassie who knocked some sense into me. She told me I better get my act together because Rachel was grieving as well, and she was the one who had to actually feel the life draining from him.

It took a long while for the government and the Andalites to really figure out what to do with Visser One. We should have probably killed him the moment he slithered out of Alloran’s ear; I doubt anyone would have had a problem with that. But in the moment none of us had wanted more murder, more killing. Visser One had been our bitter enemy to the end but none of us could stand taking him down when he had surrendered to us. Especially not after I murdered over seventeen thousand defenceless Yeerks.

The trial was horrible. It felt like a long time coming and honestly, I’d expected Visser One to go quietly. It was a stupid thought, because Visser One _never_ went quietly, even when he knew he was beat. He tried to paint me as a war criminal. Nothing ever came of it but the words still struck me. I probably was a war criminal. I’d done a lot of horrible things to protect my family, my friends, my planet. But some things just can’t be excused.

Once the trial was over and Visser One was sentenced, I had a moment of finality. It was done, over, I’d never have to deal with him ever again. I’d never have to be scared of him, never have to face him on the battle field. I couldn’t help but feel weird about it. I’d spent over three years fighting him, and now I just didn’t know what to do with myself.

There was a knock on my door and I looked up from where I’d been staring blankly at my computer screen. I’d been trying to play some video games, to get back to the way it was before the war, but I just couldn’t bring myself to. Nothing would ever be like it was before the war.

“Come in,” I called after a moment, clearing my throat. I wasn’t sure who it was, I had people dropping in to talk to me all the time.

Cassie opened the door and stepped in, smiling at me. She was so lovely, Cassie. She seemed the less affected by the war. Her and Marco anyway. She was already working with government officials to make sure the Hork-Bajir were treated fairly and that the Taxxon nothlits were settled safely in South America.

“Ax has called a meeting, he wanted to talk with us,” Cassie said, smiling at me and sitting down on my bed. She kept the door open, one of my Mom’s rules. It was stupid, Cassie and I weren’t going to do anything like that, but I think it made my Mom feel better.

“Barn, then?” I asked, standing up. Ax had spent a lot of time on the Andalite ships in orbit around earth while Visser One’s trial was organized, but he still spent a few nights in his scoop, and I knew that’s where he’d be now. The barn was the best place for a meeting, even if we no longer had to be secret about it. It just felt right.

“Yeah,” Cassie agreed, sending me another smile. She was happy, I knew. Happy the war was over, happy she no longer had to make gut wrenching decisions that made her question her morals. Happy her loved ones were safe. I envied her that happiness.

I called to my parents to let them know I was going to Cassie’s before I opened my bedroom window. I hadn’t morphed much since the end of the war, I’d gone dolphin a few times at Cassie’s insistence to try and get me out of my funk. It worked, for the most part, but the giddy joy of the dolphin only lasted as long as I was in morph.

As I focused on the peregrine falcon and felt the changes happen, I watched Cassie. She was morphing to her osprey and I couldn’t help but smile before my lips hardened into a beak. I had no doubt she was morphing every single day.

Soon after we were winging through the sky, riding the thermals. A lot of the town was still destroyed and there were plenty of thermals to ride, so it was an easy flight to Cassie’s farm. We both soared into the barn and then demorphed, looking around.

Rachel was already there, tugging a bit of hay from Tobias’ hair. I was surprised to see him in his human morph, but then again he usually morphed human around Rachel now. I think he liked to be able to touch her in some way, after the experience at the end of the war when we all thought Rachel was going to die.

Marco was sprawled out over a hay bale fiddling with a game boy. He’d already taken several lucrative deals with companies to promote their products, since everyone wanted to dress like an Animorph apparently, so he was rolling in money. Rachel had taken a small modelling contract, just to get the money to rebuild her house. Other than that, none of us had taken up any deals.

“Where’s Ax?” I asked as soon as I had lips again. Not one of them even spared me a glance as I demorphed in front of them and it felt so good. Every other person to see me morph, including my parents, stared at me in awe and horror. Morphing around the other Animorphs made me feel normal.

“Acquiring one of the horses for some reason, it’s hard to follow his babble,” Rachel told me. She’d dropped the bit of hay to the floor and Tobias had gently taken her hand. They both blushed at the contact and I saw Marco rolling his eyes fondly at them.

<I am here, Prince Jake,> Ax called to me before he entered the barn. He was in his normal Andalite body and though it’s hard to get a handle on Ax’s emotions when he didn’t have a mouth, he looked like he was excited.

“Hey man, why’d you call a meeting?” I asked, sitting next to Cassie. I glanced down at the way her hand was casually resting on the hay bale between us and vaguely wondered if I should hold it like Tobias had done to Rachel.

<I am going back to my home world,> Ax answered, distracting my from my thoughts.

I’d known he was going to leave, of course, he had a family on his home world and the rest of his species. We’d gone through amazing things together but with the war over, there wasn’t much reason for him to stay.

“Oh,” I said after a moment. “Well, good luck then, Ax-man. Stay in touch somehow, yeah?”

Marco looked up from his game boy and he tossed it aside, frowning. “What! Who am I going to take to the mall and unleash on unsuspecting fast food places?” he whined, but there wasn’t much heat behind it. We’d all known Ax was going to leave eventually.

<I am sure you’ll meet other Andalites whom you can unleash,> Ax responded but I could see from the way his main eyes moved that he was amused. I was sure Marco’s dry sense of humour had rubbed off on him.

“Nah, Ax-man, not the same,” Marco sighed, patting Ax’s shoulder. “I guess I’ll have to see you in another life then. Maybe this time we’ll be the same species.”

The others chimed in with their goodbyes, Cassie even pressing herself to Ax in a hug. He seemed awkward and unsure of how to hand that but eventually he brought his hand up to pat at her shoulder like Marco had done to him.

I didn’t hear anything from Tobias and when I glanced over, I saw he’d morphed back to his hawk form and he was resting on Rachel’s shoulder. Whatever he wanted to say to Ax was private then, and I respectfully turned away, letting them get on with it. Tobias was Ax’s shorm, I expected Tobias to be the most cut up about him leaving.

“When are you leaving?” Rachel asked after a moment, and when I turned back I saw Tobias was now perched in the rafters of the barn. I wasn’t sure how he felt, it’s hard reading Andalite emotions but it was nigh on impossible reading hawk emotions.

<I leave in five of your earth hours,> Ax told her. I’m sure if he had a mouth he’d be smirking at the way Marco immediately rolled his eyes and insisted they were everyone’s hours. <I was hoping, perhaps, that we could visit these fast food establishments again.>

The rest of us glanced at each other and Cassie shrugged a little. “All my pocket money is on hold until things go back to normal. Mom hasn’t been getting a lot of hours lately.”

Marco scoffed at them and stood up, shoving his Gameboy into his backpack. “I told you to take the Walmart deal Cassie,” he told her. “Whatever, I got us covered.”

It was probably a bad idea, of course, but none of us were thinking about that. We were wondering if we would ever see Ax again, and trying to decide where we wanted to go first.

We could have morphed to birds and flown there, but for some reason none of us suggested it. Tobias and Ax morphed to human instead and we walked all the way to the nearest McDonalds.

Rebuilding had begun in the city but fast food places weren’t top priority so we didn’t have a whole lot of options. The McDonalds we went into was busy, too, but we got our order pretty quickly. I’m sure the boy behind the counter recognized Rachel and rushed our food out. I didn’t know if it was because he thought she was pretty or because she was an Animorph.

Marco wasn’t kidding when he said he had us covered. Ax ordered eight burgers just for himself, as well as several fries and drinks. Along with the rest of our orders, the total had come to well over sixty dollars, but Marco hadn’t even batted an eyelid as he paid. I knew he had money now, of course, but still. I’d never been able to just throw that sort of cash around for one lunch.

We all watched in a sort of sick fascination as Ax ate burger after burger, and I’m sure everyone else in the building was watching too. We had a couple of people approach us to ask Marco for autographs, which I couldn’t help but snicker at, but they left quickly when Ax accidentally sprayed half chewed food all over them in his haste to sound out the word autograph.

It was nice to just spend time with them out in the open and not have to worry about looking suspicious, or if there were any Controllers around. For one of the first times since I’d seen Rachel bite Tom’s head off, I felt myself cheer up a little. Things might never be the same again but at least I’d kept our little group of bandits alive and now we could just sit back and have a good time.

It was a couple of hours later when Ax had finally had enough food. He clutched his stomach with weird sounding groans as we came out of Burger King, and he morphed right back to Andalite right in the middle of the footpath. There were screams, but mostly just screams of shock. Andalites were common knowledge now, though most people had only ever seen them on the telly.

I saw Tobias morphing back to hawk and when I looked around I saw we were gathering a crowd. “Bird morphs,” I instructed the others. It was silly, but the fact that they followed my order without question even though we weren’t in a war anymore and I wasn’t their leader anymore, made me feel so good about myself.

As I went to peregrine falcon I saw Ax standing over us, making sure no one around tried anything stupid while we were vulnerable in mid morph. I’d never morphed so publicly before and I suddenly became self-conscious of the way my bones crunched loudly and how my lips hardened into a beak. I wished I could have Cassie’s ability of making a morph look cool.

Once we were done, Ax went to his bird morph and then we all took off. We could see people taking pictures of us as we flew off and it didn’t bother me anymore. There wasn’t any reason to hide.

Ax guided us to the Dome Ship that had landed, reasonably close to where the Hork-Bajir valley was. There were Andalites coming in and out and none of them took much notice of us after Ax announced our presence. It felt weird, on our planet we were heroes. To Andalites, we were just some kids that had weaselled our way into getting some of their technology. The only one they actually cared about was Ax.

<Prince Aximili, we will be leaving in two earth hours,> one of the Andalites said, not bothering to keep the thought speak private. When I really looked at him I saw he was just a kid like us, an _aristh_. He looked excited to see all of us, which was a nice change of pace.

<When we are on earth they are everyone’s hours, _aristh_ Quio, > Ax replied after he’d morphed back to his Andalite form. He sent a meaningful look Marco’s way.

<Hah! Finally!> Marco crowed, thrilled that someone had actually listened to him for once. We all demorphed and I smiled when I got my lips back. I knew it was Ax’s way of saying goodbye to Marco.

<Of course, Prince Aximili,> Quio said quickly, bowing low to us before going back inside the Dome Ship. It was one of the first times I’d seen Ax get the respect he deserved from other Andalites and I was happy for him.

“You’ll come back and visit right? At least once?” Cassie asked when we were all standing around in our spandex shivering. We looked like a bunch of idiots, but we could have been dressed properly and the Andalites still would have thought we looked ridiculous.

<Of course,> Ax replied, bowing low like Quio had done. <I have taken what I want out of my scoop, what is still there I leave to Tobias.>

“Don’t get into any intergalactic trouble out there, Ax-man,” Marco said, losing his bluster for once. We all felt a little subdued, Ax had been with us since the very beginning and we’d all been so focused on ending the war that I don’t think any of us had thought about him leaving once we won.

Ax morphed to human, probably more for our benefit. As soon as the morph was complete Cassie rushed him for another hug, which just ended in all of us hugging him. Ax’s cheeks were red but he was smiling as Rachel taught him how to hug back.

“Until we meet again,” Ax said softly, probably making a superhuman effort not to sound out the words. He took one last look at all of us before he turned and made his way onto the Dome Ship.

I couldn’t help but wonder if that was the last time I’d ever see him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are going to be chapters from Ax's perspective reasonably soon so he will definitely be back! I will try to get chapters out every Friday (if you're in the Asian/Pacific region, Thursday everywhere else) but that's a loose schedule since life can be annoying. 
> 
> You'll make my day if you leave a comment, and you'll make my week if you leave a kudos!


	3. Metamorphosis - Tobias

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobias and Rachel have dinner. Tobias comes to terms with the rest of his life.

_Running away was easy; not knowing what to do next was the hard part._

_-Glenda Millard_

* * *

My name is Tobias.

I’m seventeen years old. I’m a Libra. I like watching the sunrise and spending time with my girlfriend. I’m also a hawk.

It’s kind of a long story, one you’ve probably heard over and over. I haven’t had as much practise as the others in telling it though, the ones I care enough about to want to tell are the ones who lived it with me.

Basically, I used to be a human boy. My friends and I got entangled up in an intergalactic war and we gained the ability to morph into animals. I stayed too long in my hawk morph and got stuck. Luckily for me, a god-like creature called the Ellimist decided to give me my power to morph back. So here I am, stuck between hawk and boy and I don’t even have the war to excuse putting off deciding.

I’m not sure why I’m still clinging to this hawk part of me. Loren moved into one of the newly built houses close to Cassie’s place and she insists I stay there at least twice a week. It’s awkward between us and I’m still a little bitter over her leaving me with my aunt and uncle, but she’s making an effort. I am too.

Rachel is the only one who seems a little lost, too. She did her modelling deal to pay for a new home but then she slipped right back into the way things were. School, gymnastics, shopping. She loved the fight, Rachel did, and now she’s trying to deal with being a normal seventeen year old girl again. Other than the fact she’s dating a hawk, of course.

Rachel doesn’t really understand why I don’t just morph human, stay past the two hours and be done with it. Ax says I’d miss the skies and the way I could soar anywhere, feel the wind beneath my wings. He said it a little wistfully too, like he missed it just as much. Ax is on his home world now, and I can only talk to him every now and then, when he gets a chance to open up a communication with us.

I was high above Rachel’s new house, circling a little as I hesitated. I wanted to see her, I always did, but it’s become a little difficult. Not only does she manage to nag me at least once every time I see her about changing back, but things have become more… intimate.

Now that the war is over and we’re older, things have changed. We’re actually starting to listen to our bodies now. The only problem is I’m not at all used to my human body and I wouldn’t even know where to start with Rachel. Even kissing her is nerve wracking.

I saw Rachel’s window was open so I tucked in my wings and dove down, flaring them at just the right moment so I could go in through her window and perch on the back of her desk chair. As the rush of exhilaration faded I felt a little melancholy, amazing feats like that were exactly what I was going to give up.

Rachel was standing in front of her mirror fixing her hair but she smiled and looked at me when I came in. “You’re late,” she said lightly, no heat to her words. She’d never been high maintenance, I could have showed up two hours late and she’d only really be mildly ticked off.

I hopped off the back of the chair and focused on my human form, feeling the changes happen. Despite the fact Loren could morph too, she always turned away when I did this. Rachel never did, she just watched with a sort of half smile as my feathers melted back into skin until I was standing in just tight little bike shorts in the middle of her room.

“You’re lucky my mom and sisters are out of town for the night,” Rachel said after a moment. The shorts were far too small and I could understand what she meant, Naomi would surely chase me out if she found me dressed like this in Rachel’s room. “You should stay like that,” Rachel added after a moment, giving me a wicked grin.

“Very-” I started, but my voice went all high pitched from lack of use. I had to clear my throat and try again. “Very funny, Rachel. Can you get me some pants, please?”

Ever since we were sixteen and I’d started morphing human for her more and more, she’d started hiding clothes for me in her room. Just sweats and a t-shirt, but it was better than walking around in bike shorts.

Rachel laughed and turned around, going through her dresser before she pulled out the clothes from underneath all her summer dresses. I tugged them on gratefully, glad at least that I wasn’t showing off my package to the world. I felt a little at a disadvantage, surely if I hadn’t spent the last four years as a hawk I’d be a little more comfortable with my body.

Once I was dressed we made our way downstairs and I took note of the time from the clock hanging on the kitchen wall. Rachel leaned against the counter as I went through her fridge, familiar with it enough by now, to pull out what I’d need to make her dinner. Cooking was something I was just starting to get used to again but I enjoyed it, and it made me feel useful when I was doing it for Rachel to enjoy.

“Heard from Marco lately?” I asked to fill the silence, Rachel dragging herself up to sit on the counter as I started to boil some water.

“Oh yeah,  he’s off sorting out a book deal or something, he keeps me in the loop because he’s trying to brag, I think,” Rachel said with a soft grin.

Marco and Cassie were probably the only ones that got out of the war unscathed. Marco was lapping up the fame and fortune now, but he made sure not to stray too far from home. I think he knew Jake was a little more messed up over Tom’s death than he showed.

“I haven’t heard from him since Ax left,” I said softly. Marco and I had never really gotten along and there was no way we’d have been friends if it weren’t for the war. But still, going through what we had together, there was an unbreakable bond. It still hurt a little knowing he was in touch with Rachel and not me, though.

“Ax leaving was hard on you both,” Rachel murmured. Ax was my best friend, or my s _horm_ as Ax would put it. Marco had gotten close to him too, when he’d had to fake his own death and stay in his scoop for a while. Neither of us had been happy about Ax’s decision to go back to his home world.

Rachel slid off the counter and moved behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist. She was still a little taller than me but I was broader, and of all the things I was self-conscious about, somehow our heights never bothered me. “It’s almost been a year,” she said lightly.

I knew what she meant, almost a year since the war ended, since we’d stopped having to put our lives in danger every day, since we no longer had to rip and tear into innocent bodies because of the slugs controlling them. Almost a year, and still the nightmares were present.

“Wonder if that means Jake and Cassie will get hitched,” I joked softly. Cassie had confided in Rachel about her telling Jake to wait a year after everything was over, and of course Rachel had told me, though I had to swear not to mention it to anyone.

“Doubt it,” Rachel snorted, resting her chin on my shoulder and watching as I added pasta to the water. “Aunt Jean would kill him if he didn’t have a proper wedding and besides, they’re moving at a glacial pace. I’d be surprised if they’d done anything more than kissing.”

“Cassie is pretty busy nowadays though, working with the Andalites to keep the peace,” I said softly. I saw Cassie maybe once or twice a month, and I still lived in the meadow near her barn. I could only imagine how often Jake saw her.

“Mm, it’s stupid, she’s still just a kid and she’s out there working her butt off for hardly any pay just like an adult,” Rachel sighed.

“Have you given any thought to that?” I asked after a moment. It was something I wondered about quite a lot, when I wasn’t agonising over having to choose between being a hawk and being a boy. “What you’re going to do, eventually? Cassie’s already working, Ax is a prince, Marco’s off doing book deals.”

Rachel was silent for a while as I pulled away to start making the rest of the meal. She leaned against the counter again, a slight frown pulling at her brow. She’d done a modelling deal, which had been hugely successful, but she’d turned down everything else since then. I was pretty sure modelling wasn’t something she wanted to do permanently anyway.

“Jake’s been getting offers from the military now that the Andalites are talking about sharing the morphing technology,” Rachel said after a while, just watching my hands move. “I’ve been getting some offers too.”

“So you’re going to go into the military? The war never really is over for you, is it?” I sighed, and immediately regretted it.

“You can talk, Tobias,” Rachel snapped, crossing her arms over her chest. “It’s been almost a _year_ and you’re still dragging your feet over becoming human again! The fight is over, you don’t need to morph anymore. You need to come back to us before we lose you for good.”

I bit back another sigh at her words, focusing on shaping the meatballs. I’d heard this all many times before and I knew she was right, it was just hard bringing myself to admit it. I hated the idea of giving up morphing, of giving up flying, but I hated the idea of giving Rachel up even more. Because somehow I don’t think she’d be willing to wait around another few years for me.

“You’re not going to lose me,” I said eventually, washing my hands after I’d finished with the meat. Rachel was the only person in this world that I knew for sure loved me, and I wasn’t going to let her go.

Rachel was giving me one of her furious looks, the one that signalled I was in for an argument, but I didn’t want to spend the night going back and forth with her over the same old thing. So I kissed her instead, pressing her against the counter gently and settling my hands on her waist.

Rachel kissed back with all the fire she had in her, nails digging into my arms and teeth nipping sharply at my lower lip. I didn’t mind, it was a good reminder that I had _lips_ and not a beak, that I was human, at least for the time being.

I used my lips and mouth and tongue to slow her down, to cool her, until she was relaxed against me and her fingertips were gentle on my shoulders instead of digging in. When I finally pulled away she had a sort of soft smile on her face and I felt my belly tighten. I felt proud that I’d put that look on her face.

“Wanna set the table?” I asked softly, thumb rubbing against the little patch of skin that was above her jeans and below her shirt. She was so warm, and it just reminded me that this was something I could never have when I was a hawk. Warmth, touch, love.

Rachel nodded and turned away, moving to grab out plates and cutlery. I took the time to drain the pasta noodles and set everything up. In ten minutes the table was set and the meal was dished up and I was sitting opposite Rachel as we started eating.

“So would you be a teacher, then?” I asked, using my fork to spread the sauce around on my plate more. “Like, teach classes of people way older than you how to morph into animals and rip their enemy’s throat out?”

Rachel’s lips curved into a small grin at that and she shrugged her shoulders, taking a sip from her soda. “I dunno. Maybe. I think I’d rather show them how to use the morphs to their full potential, not necessarily anything violent.”

“Cassie would be so proud,” I said with an answering grin.

After we’d finished eating and cleaning up, we went into the living room and curled up on the couch together. Rachel was pressed against my chest with her head on my shoulder and I had my arm wrapped loosely around her waist, just enjoying her warmth and letting it distract me.

“What about you then, Tobias?” Rachel asked after a while of comfortable silence, staring at the telly that was on mute. “Would you teach a class about being a nothlit or something?”

“I guess I could do that, dunno how impressive I’d be though,” I said softly, tracing my fingers over the skin of her back where her shirt had ridden up slightly.

“Oh please, just stay as a hawk and glare at them the whole time,” Rachel joked, and I felt her press a little kiss to my throat.

“Bit late for that now,” I said quietly.

It took Rachel a moment to click, but when she did she turned quickly to stare at the clock on the wall. It’d been two hours and fifteen minutes since I’d morphed into a human in her bedroom, and both of us knew what that meant.

“Tobias,” Rachel said softly, and she wrapped her arms tightly around me.

I accepted the comfort, already feeling a sense of loss. I’d never be able to fly again, never be able to swim to the deepest reaches of the ocean. But with Rachel soft and welcoming in my arms, I knew there was no comparison.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still undecided as to who's POV it will be next chapter, let me know if you have someone you really want to see!
> 
> I will try to get chapters out every Friday (if you're in the Asian/Pacific region, Thursday everywhere else) but that's a loose schedule since life can be annoying.
> 
> You'll make my day if you leave a comment, and you'll make my week if you leave a kudos!

**Author's Note:**

> This story will probably be done Megamorphs style, with each chapter being told from a different character's prospective. There's still going to be a little angst, they survived a war after all and Tom died, but with Rachel surviving and the Bug Fighter never escaping, things will definitely be happier than the canon post-war. 
> 
> You'll make my day if you leave a comment, and you'll make my week if you leave a kudos!


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